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Something beyond the normal. I can’t believe I’ve lived almost 32 years and never witnessed the Wuppertal Floating Train. It is truly a marvel.. and watching it during the film Pina really took it to another level. Human beings taking their bodies and emotions to surreal levels. Then placing those bodies within out of this world locations, like glass cube buildings in forests or inside a car on the “Electric Highway Installation (Floating Tram), Eugen Langen System.”
I wished I lived in a place so fantastic.
Inside of me I can take floating trams though.
Turning weakness into strength like an alchemist. Be weightless and vulnerable. Dizzying to heights the body can’t come near to reaching. Neurons firing rockets into the stratosphere.
It’s all there only to be imagined.
The inside turns real like concrete and steel.
Hello World. For the last couple days I was thinking about ghostwise, about the blog. Also thinking about creative pursuits in general. It’s been a quiet four months or so. Haven’t made time to paint. No videos made. No real writing. I bounced some ideas off a friend the other night. I mentioned that I wanted to try to do some blog posts for fun. For the last forty eight hours I was thinking that I should write about creative block.
Then I re-read the last two blog entries here and they are basically in the same vein. Fourteen months later and I’m still at the same point; not really knowing what the point of ghostwise is.
Or perhaps more specifically how to broadcast myself to the internet.
The internet; it really is Hello World. It’s the entire planet (almost) being able to access anything anyone creates. That’s a scary thought.
Over a decade ago, I used to connect to a local network, NCF. It was fun to share creatively in an obscure way. Only a few people could read what I wrote. I enjoyed the feeling of throwing something out there. It fueled my inspiration. I suppose I could still do that now. There are so many places to get lost inside the net. So many forums, websites and random corners. But in the end, the digital paper trail these days, never really disappears. No one can see my NCF creations.
And on the other hand, I’d like to create something relevant. There’s a good feeling about creating something that connects to other people. It’s good too to make something that makes some money.
I suppose what’s missing for me, what’s been missing for a while is that inner focal point. I used to have a vision and often a person in mind when I created. As long as I was creating something good enough for them, something strong that I wanted to share with them, the rest didn’t matter.
I don’t know who I’m talking to.. or more importantly I don’t know who I should talk to.
rinse / repeat
On Sunday November 22nd, I participated in the One and Only Art and Gift Fair. It was held at the Sandy Hill Community Center.
The event was AWESOME.
Lots of friends came out. I sold half the paintings I had up for sale. The organizers provided yummy food for free. It was exhausting in the end but a super great day. Gave me a lot of new energy for my paintings. Especially since I learned which particular paintings were a hit with people (and I received some commissions!!).
I am so fortunate to be able to participate in events like this. It’s always challenging – getting to the event, eating, being taken care of and having the energy to talk to people all day long.
I can’t wait for next year. Here’s a slideshow made by the organizers.
Here are a couple photos we took:
 End of day, turning into a ghost
On June 23rd, 2009, we held an intimate concert and reading in Strathcona Park in Ottawa called the Kiva Concert. My friend, Michael McCulloch, sang and played songs on his acoustic guitars. Between songs, I read some pieces of my writing. The weather was warm and sunny, a perfect Summer evening. Twenty or so friends came to take part in the evening.
It was magical. Full of heartfelt emotions, sublime music and friendship.
The event was called the Kiva Concert because we were also taking the opportunity to fund raise for Kive.org, a prominent micro-lending organization.
With the $150 we raised, five $25 loans were made to various people around the world. The remaining $25 went to Kiva itself to help support their infrastructure.
Through the concert we supported: Elizabeth Mugoiri Maina – Dairy, Kenya, Keji Betty -
Fish Selling, South Sudan, Ellen Matheyo – Charcoal Sales, South Sudan, Kim Chhun Hun -
Agriculture, Cambodia & Taufaanuu Leipau – Farming, Samoa.
You can find out more about our efforts through the ghostwise team.
It was like an organized group activity. We were at a community center type facility. People were going to swim. I was angry that I hadn’t brought my swimming shorts. I could see them all swimming in the pool. I could see Nadine in a red swimsuit top. I turned away and drove to a different room. Greg from elementary school or someone asked me if I wanted to go swim. I said I couldn’t. I hadn’t been swimming since 1999 or 2000. Something like 9-10 years ago. I really wanted to. I spun in circles in my electric wheelchair, agitated. I was torn in half. I wanted so badly to go in that pool. But besides not having the appropriate clothes, I didn’t know how long I would last. The pool was so busy. I’d need my ventilator beside the edge. With so many people splashing about, I didn’t know if having my ventilator by the edge would be safe. When I was last in a pool, when Mike took me in, I only lasted something like seven minutes. It was safe with him though. All his lifeguard experience and being a med student. Superstar person. That’s camp though. That’s a dream. I almost convinced myself that I’d go in with my clothes on. I kept roaming around. I just wanted to be with Nadine. But she was in the pool. I drove over to the edge. Watched her swimming, swimming in some other guy’s arms. I kept staring at her and then she looked over, her face looked like Anne Hathaway’s. That same fresh innocent beauty. We locked eyes, kept the gaze going as I turned around and drove off. My gaze was full of envy, of jealousy, of hunger.. I had to get out of there. I’ll never go swimming. Not like this. Not ever with her.
I need to get away from the pool.
February 14, 2009 – Valentinki
Blue & Red Heart on Pink – Acrylic on 6”x8” Canvas – a007
ghostwise twitter: a007. love the fan brush, texture, fast, flowing, wide & pinpoint. red & white went best. adding blue was hard to blend in.
a007. white kept saving the day, made varied textures w/ red & then a sweet light blue brush stroke. heavy paint use worked best w/ white.
a007. bright. brightest so far. almost out of white.
This was a present for my Mom. She loved it. I loved making it. The fan brush was very versatile. Sometimes I’d use the whole brush but other times I’d use parts of the brush for different colours. Lots of good action and energetic brush strokes with this piece. It’s always nice to feel fast and alive with a painting.
 Blue & Red Heart on Pink  Blue & Red Heart on Pink - close up 1  Blue & Red Heart on Pink - close up 2  Blue & Red Heart on Pink - close up 3 Dark Red Heart on Deep Purple – Acrylic on 1”x1” Canvas – a008
a008. my 1×1. went very heavy and wet. purple & red. it’s too dark. no contrast.
This is so dark in real life. The photo makes it look nicer than it is. It’s just a heart. The only good part is that it reminds me of candy or icing sugar.
 Dark Red Heart on Deep Purple
February 13 & 20th
Mint Green Mountains Grass & Red Sun – Acrylic on 6”x12” Canvas – a006
ghostwise twitter: a006.rv1 salvaging with mint green. overdid the red but like the 3D feel with green contrast. next yellow maybe. many more layers to go.
a006. rv2. added yellow daubs & shading, raw. 360 turn w/ blue & white. thick paint mixing. going surreal w/ an elephant. lots more work.
a006. ps i have no idea where i’m going really. just going with a colour or two and just layering down and seeing where it takes me.
There’s parts of this painting that feel just right to me. The green and the mountains especially. The grass doesn’t mesh but I don’t want to change it. I like the painting half finished and unperfect. A diamond in the rough forever. Or maybe I’m just scared to mess with it.
 Mint Green Mountains Grass & Red Sun  Mint Green Mountains Grass & Red Sun close up of grass Second painting session.
 Mint Green Elephant Range  Mint Green Elephant Range close up of grass
February 8, 2009
Garden Flowers – Acrylic on 8”x10” Canvas – a005
Grey Washout – Acrylic on 6”x12” Canvas – a006
ghostwise twitter: a005. co-painting w/ sasa. liked the yellow strokes the most. the most dauby work so far & the most literal. mixed feelings but fun time.
a005x. the science of mixing colours is tough! sasa often got muddy results. mixed too many colours together.
a006. this was a dud. interesting to see a thin, over watered acrylic wash. watching and learning from mistakes, will return to this canvas.
This was such a different experience! My friend Sasa visited me and offered to assist me with a painting. I was the main painter but after a bit, I invited Sasa to join in. I would also ask her sometimes to choose the next colour and she did most of the mixing.
Her input definitely affected the direction of the painting. I doubt I would have done a flower garden on my own. My Mom loved the result. I’m not sure I like the painting so much. It’s a bit too dark and sloppy for my taste. It definitely looks better photographed. The camera makes it look much brighter and interesting.
Best parts were painting with the fan brush. It was instrumental in creating interesting textures with the “poppies” and light touches with the yellows. I like how I could have multiple colours spread out across the fan. This allowed me to use it like multiple small brushes. Very quick and convenient especially since I don’t have to change my grip by changing brush handles.
(No photos of the Grey Washout of a006)
 Garden Flowers a few closeups..
 Flower #1 close up  Flower #2 close up  Flower #3 close up
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